Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Reflection: Kitty Cat Dreams

In The Irrational Season, Madeline L'engle wrote of a student who asked her if she really and truly believed in God with no doubts at all. She replied, "I really and tuly believe in God with all kinds of doubts."

I wrote in an earlier post that I would tell the story of the 'cat dreams'. Today I will do that. I have to exert some caution in telling the story because different people interpret it differently. I think that most folks I know have some belief in anomolous communications, but some people would surely say this is irrational. I think there is something in each of us that says that can't be or else that must be - and that 'something' colors how we interpret things, from other's personal experiences to studies that attempt to be scientific and controlled. I remember in college, a professor recounted a study where people prayed for plants [mung beans?] and the prayed-for plants grew better. At the time, I was upset by the implications, and I did so want to hear about the flaws of the study! In the past ten or twelve years, I've become very interested in the science behind anomolous comunication, from dreams to prayer.

With that said... It was right after my father died, I think, that the Midnight and Seafoam dreams started. The cats I grew up with would show up in dreams that weren't even particularly about them. Considering the general illogic of the dreams, my math skills were good: "How old are you now, Seafoam? Twenty-eight?"
The dreams went on for a year and accelerated to something like one a week. One I remember well: Midnight bolted across a road as I watched, frozen. When she got across, she turned into something like a cat mascot and bear-hugged me. A few days before things came to a head with Maui, I had a dream where I was reliving the chronic illness of one of them, and taking it much harder than I had in real life (as I hadn't lived with them for years, and Maui was very much my baby by then). The last thought before I fully awoke that morning: This visit will be the last.

I walked though everything believing in God with fewer doubts than usual.