Reflection: Is it in my Genes? (I)

I'm not fearful of incoming information over in Squidoo-land; thus I allow comments and dialogue on the more occasional blog posts that I write there. Coming home in tears one day -- I think I'm about to do something tears, I'm close enough to feel the fear tears -- I felt the impulse to post this particular on my Squid blog first... before this one even. The post that I am reprinting here I actually had up at the time of that write-up that I shared in Another's Images.

I've been contemplating the various factors that affect how other's view me, and the credence they put in things I express. I've also very much been contemplating genes. There are multipe themes in this post that you can expect me to return to:

"I express well in writing, and sometimes I’m very glad for that… on a personal level.

I’m getting ready — at least I think I’m getting ready! — to write a letter to a nurse… a nurse I respect, one who struck me as both more knowledgeable and more respectful the doctors I have known. I don’t make a good impression on doctors. I’m afraid of medical prefessionals, but my demeanor doesn’t mean that I’m ignorant, or irrational. I’m sure I’m not alone in saying that doctors have often treated me like I was very small.

So I’m going to write to a particular nurse, and I’m going to explain in the most courteous manner I can that I don’t really want to hear anyone’s opinion, and that I don’t really want to talk. I want blood. I want genetic testing. I’d rather not spend hundreds of dollars out of pocket, of course (I don’t have a lot at this point) but if I have to, I will. I just need to put it all in someone else’s hands.

I could chicken out or postpone the ordeal — I have been doing that for over a year. But I will say it felt a little less daunting to take those first steps when I realized I have some very relevant posts on my Evening Nigh Reflections blog… a few relevant lenses and articles. I don’t have a lot to say, but I can sift through my writings and pass along a few links.

Those who read this post can probably see why my web personas get wary of each other. 'You do what you need to do,' said TBT, 'You do what you need to do for both of us, but if you’re going to issue memos like this from our joint headquarters, make sure you keep on referring to me by my initials only'..."

Reflection: Another's Images

"Alex... This post is worth far more to me than the $100 I sent you to improve my exposure. Although... Nicki and Karen tell me they got the same exposure for half price..." I glanced at that tongue-in-cheek (and maybe slightly embarrassed) comment that had been posted at a Squidoo-related site and thought, "Hmmm, what exposure did Nicki and Karen and John get?"

When I link to, or include a write-up from some Squid-related site, I'm not necessarily bragging. No, there is some particular point that I am trying to make, and I'm using another's words and impressions. I did quite a bit of that in A Matter of Trust.

I'm going to include an excerpt today of another writeup -- I'll refer back to it again. This is from a Squidoo-related blogging site: a place people write about their Squidoo pages, others' Squidoo pages, and/or their particular niches and pet concerns. (The site is partly about backlinks and mutual promotion, but largely about community.) This quoted excerpt is by Alex, aka Drifter:

"I’ll throw the spotlight on three voices now, three voices that ring clear in my heart and playfully toy with my addled mind...

John's Bullshot is a wonderful broadcast of facts and observations that is confidently playful...

The Custard Bowl. Honest, cheerful, full of life. Nicki’s voice is like a spell. Weaving across my eardrums, the magic takes me places...

And then there is Squid and Squabble. When I read Karen’s words, I am beckoned on a chase. Into a foggy night I am drawn by glimpses of a beauty in a black trench coat. Slender calves walking away from me. Long dark hair accentuated by moments of hazy street lamps..."

Curious images, those. My column, Squid and Squabble, draws its name from the tenuous relationship between the two web personas who share my Squidoo account. I intentionally removed the link tomy own Squid column, but I do plan to repost -- and discuss -- something from Squid and Squabble in the next day or two.

Reflection: 'Play Dates' For My Blog?

I am not sure whether I just arranged 'play dates' for my blog or signed it up for summer camp. I wrote in Out and About in the World of the decision to make this blog fully public and searchable, and in For an Audience of One, of feeling that, if I was going to be perpetually inspired to do my best work for an audience of one or two, then I'd do well to try and harness the products and let them serve me in more pragmatic ways...

If you've ever gotten the impression that my more business-oriented websites hold this one in disdain -- oh, no, they adore this blog; they just wonder what others (clients, colleagues) would say. (I've known human beings to think along very similar lines.) Anyway, the websites had a meeting today. They felt they had a superb community program for this blog to enroll in. "Evening Nigh" they said, "How do you feel about going on some 'play dates', doing show and tell -- that sort of thing?"

Translated, that means that I decided it would be good to enroll in a creativity challenge, where my blog could discuss and share creative works with other bloggies. (I do want to note that the other websites view this one as a most valuable contributing member of the 'family business', and they very much want it networking and making friends -- however, they don't all necessarily very much want it networking and making friends with their friends.)

Note: This picture is a Creative Commons piece -- thought it would do well for an article with a children's lit/storybook theme, then also decided to use it here.

Reflection: My Widget's Under the Weather

I checked in on the website of the "Link Within" widget a few minutes ago -- I'm referring of course to that nice widget that makes the cute little thumbnails under each post. The message still said that the site was down for maintenance, and to try back in a few hours. I was glad for that much news. You see, I grew concerned when my friend, the widget, up and vanished.

The widget is hosted by a company that probably has aspirations to make money someday, but right now seems to be at the stage of just saying to people, "Psss... Look! Widget! Cool, huh?" Cool, indeed! I would not want to see the enterprise fail. I am concerned that their site might be seriously under the weather. If I had a way to do so, I would send the widget a get well soon card. My blog here is feeling a little glum today, missing its widget. It did not even feel motivated to put up a picture. Sure, it has other widgets, but it is so very fond of that particular one. Pictures just aren't as much fun, it expressed, when you can't share them with a special widget someone.

PS The widget is back, and my blog is again feeling inspired.

Reflection: Using Love and Logic With Your Blog

As I noted before, on eduFire one can teach just about anything that's legal. I was thinking about doing a follow-up to the free "Upload Yourself to the Internet" class: one that focused specifically on Blogger. I was also thinking about the connection between raising a blog and raising a kid. Things to consider when raising a blog: helping your blog make friends -- and helping your blog find and articulate its values, resist peer pressure, and discover social service opportunities... Of course there's also the 'Link Within' widget, and other fun educational games you can play with your blog.

I have training in a classroom management system called Love and Logic. At first, I couldn't think of any connection between Love and Logic and raising a Blogspot blog. Then I thought of something. In Love and Logic, you're supposed to give I-messages instead of "Don't" messages; for instance, you might say, "I am now passing out construction paper to the children who are sitting quietly." Well, I'm thinking one might say to their their blog, "I am now passing out links to those websites that are following editorial guidelines."

The thing is, though, that if I were to say that to this blog, it would likely just think, "Oh, now she's passing out links to those websites that are following editorial guidelines," and continue with whatever it was doing. It has some motivation to help out my other sites -- up to a point. It is very willing, though, to bypass having the other sites link to it -- so that it can have more liberties when it comes to doing its own thing. Well, that gets to one of the deeper tenets of Love and Logic. We may give rewards or consequencess based on what we think we know about what motivates 'kids' or what motivates 'people' -- but some won't respond to those things. (Just as some blogs aren't motivated by SEO.)

Reflection: Out and About in the World

I did decide to make Evening Nigh Reflections a public blog, searchable on Google Blog Search and elsewhere. It's been out and about in the world for over a week now, cautiosly poking its head here and there, visiting a couple other wee bloggies to leave comments. I listed it as my website for a Poets & Writers author directory listing that was confirmed today. The 'Steve Salamander' Seattle piece I've been reading from isn't listed as a credit. It may just not have confirmed yet; either that or the anthology listed it as some category other than creative nonfiction (creative nonfiction being the only genre I have enough credits in).

My teacher blog doesn't admit to knowing this blog -- and isn't apt to -- but I make get Evening Nigh a little button that says it's an Edufire writing tutor. I'd been conversing in an online forum with language teachers, and maybe that's why I did such a double take when I went in Trader Joe's this afternoon. Trader Joe's guarantees there's nothing on their labels that you can't pronounce! Wow! They must be pretty durn good at accent reduction, because I doubt the most skilled among us tutors would make a claim like that...

Reflection: Web Personas

I wrote in an earlier post how if there were 'endless buses across endless lakes to endless computers' there would have been days and nights this summer that I simply never came home. If I had had a computer right there at home these difficult months, my business site might have its own blog by now, and my blog might have its own... podcast.

Before I let Google crawl this site, the link to my business site will probably come down. Right now, Evening Nigh Reflections is very open about its relationship with Tote Bag Teaching, but Tote Bag Teaching is not open about its relationship with Evening Nigh Reflections. (Evening Nigh Reflections: "Why look, it's my friend, Tote Bag Teaching!! Hi, Tote Bag Teaching!!" [Vigorous arm waving.])

I think that most of us have multiple personas out in the real world, too, that some of them we're open about, and some we aren't. My belief is that while there are times it's necessary, often we're actually hiding what's real and good.

I was writing this post in my mind -- just finishing it up -- when I walked into Dollar Tree and caught, there on the loudspeaker, the final line of a song, "We keep on waiting, waiting on the world to change."